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Archive for the ‘body functions’ Category

From yesterday:

Nothing says “Top o’ the mornin’!” like your four year old barfing in your doorway at 4 am. It was that kind of day here.

Luckily, Gideon was only sick the once and after a day of convalescing in front of the TV, he is quite recovered. I only hope the rest of us have escaped the germs.

The exciting incident also led me to scrub the floor, we have laminate in most of the house, from our bedroom to the bathroom. I figured while I was on my hands and knees I should finish the job and now I have clean floors. I hate cleaning the floors, but they do look nice.

It continues to be a zoo at my house. Who knew two large dogs and two boys had the ability to sound like the entire wild Africa section of the zoo? Sometimes, I think I live in the ape house. Not the monkey house, mind you, because monkeys have TAILS.

So here is wishing you a barf free week. May your floors be clean and your sleep uninterrupted.

p.s. We are now a barf free zone.

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We have been occupied with getting ready for Brother’s impending arrival, 3 weeks and counting, and battling a bought of unpleasant sickness. Thankfully, I have so far escaped the flu/cold thing that brought Gideon and Ries so low. Everyone is more or less on the mend. I will post a more newsy update later. For now, I have a funny story for you, involving a boy and his favorite body part which will be referred to for the remaining of the post with the word “twig”.

Gideon was on the potty before nap time today as a preemptive strike. He did not have to go, but did proceed to play with his twig. I mean, it was already out there, right? As twigs are wont to do, it became less, ahem, flaccid that normal. At this point, I decided he was definitely not going to pee, so I took him off the potty. He stood there, holding his twig, which was pointing straight out, looked up at me, lifted his eyebrows, and said, “Isn’t it amazing?”

Amazing was the exact word I was searching for. Actually, I was laughing so hard I did not have a reply for him.

When he is older, he will be mortified that I tell these kinds of stories. I love being a Mom. Bwahahahaaaaa.

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Yesterday morning, Gideon, who is two, crawled in bed with me, naked funny enough given what followed, and proceeded to have the following conversation with me:

Gideon: When I get bigger, I am going to have a big twig*
Me, wanting to temper his expectations just in case: Well, I think it will be just the right size for you.
Gideon: No. When I bigger and bigger, I am going to have a big twig!
Me, trying again: Your twig will grow bigger as you get bigger but it will always be just the right size.
Gideon: It will be big.
Me, giving up: OK.

I had no idea that being a boy and having boy parts was not only captivating but contemplative as one considered the future. I am hoping to be spared more twig conversations with the next one and get a girl, whose parts I am way more familiar with.

Ries, of course, was no help and spent the entire time laughing at us in the bathroom as he got ready for work.

*twig being a euphemism for his boy part which he used the correct term for.

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It is Fall here in Houston, which means the humidity and temperature are both about 74 in the morning. Not quite long sleeve weather yet, but I keep hoping a cold front will drop us down to the 60’s any day now. It also means the leaves are doing that thing they do here… turn brown and fall off. It is what passes as fall foliage here. Sad, yet true.

We went to the pumpkin patch today and picked out a truly ugly and warty pumpkin. Gideon requested a scary face on the pumpkin so it should be just right.

Gideon is a smart little thing, always trying to negotiate what he wants when he already knows the limits, asking if I am going to spank him when he breaks a rule, and sneaking around to do things he is not supposed to do. He keeps me occupied. I spend the majority of my days alternatively yelling, “Gideon!” or “Wicket!” because one or both of them are doing something naughty.

After I told him that I do not, in fact have a boy part (which we call by it’s actual name, but I think I should probably not type here), I have a girl part (again, actual name). He asked me, “Where does your pee come out of?” How indeed. This was over lunch, mind you.

Happy Fall!

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This picture features Gideon in his new Big Boy Boxer Briefs with a green Skittle in his mouth. That’s right folks. No more diapers!

We spent last week in Potty Training Bootcamp. We basically used the Three Day Potty training method which involves a lot of nakedness and who does not love a little naked toddler running around the house?

Here is our experience with this method.

Overall, it worked great. I say worked because after 1 week, Gideon is potty trained. No more diapers (except at night) and he is now wearing real underwear!

You spend three days giving your child lots of water and juice to increase urination and then whisking them to the potty when they start to go. We also asked Gideon often if he had to go to the potty.

With a couple of exceptions, you are mostly homebound for three days. We used a combination of praise and Skitttles. The first day was very successful because both Ries and I were home to keep an eye on him. The second day, Gideon had two accidents and it happened both times because I turned my back for a second. They say you have to watch them like a hawk and you really do. You literally can do nothing but pay very close attention to your kid for three days. It was the worst thing about this method. I was exhausted by the end of the day, even after taking a nap with Gideon.

We started on Tuesday and by Friday, Gideon was telling us when he needed to go, holding it during errands out of the house, and waking dry from naps. I still need to ask him often if he has to go potty, just so he thinks about it. I heard that kids will often say no when they mean yes, but Gideon says yes when he does have to go.

Gideon is doing great. He does have an accident every once in awhile, but he goes whole days without an accident. He even did pretty well during church yesterday, though he was out of his normal environment. If you have been dreading potty training or are sick of diapers, I highly recommend this method.

Hallelujah, no more diapers!

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I know Gideon loves me because he gifts me with his most precious items. Recently he held out his finger to me and said, “Mommy, I pick a booger from my nose for you.”

Just what I always wanted.

I took it, of course, that’s what Moms do.

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Holes

It must be wonderful to be young and to have every day filled with new and exciting discoveries. Every experience is unique and wonderful. Gideon made a truly astuonding discovery last Thursday. Here was the event as it unfolded:

Gideon was taking a bath and playing. I noticed he had his hand underneath his junk (his boy parts which we do call by their actual names but I figured would be better left off this post). I figured he was just playing with it or cleaning his “undercarriage” as the boys in this house call it. He looked up at me and said with wonder in his voice, “Bum… has a hole. Bum has a hole in it.” I realized he must have been reaching a bit farther back than I thought. With my lips twitching up I replied, “You are right. Your bum does have a hole in it.”

He kept feeling around and repeating, “Bum has a hole in it.”

I told him that was where the poop comes out. He thought about that for awhile, continuing to feel the area in discussion. I could see the wheels turning around in his head.

After a couple minutes of this conversation going in circles between the two of us, Gideon said, “Tell Daddy. Tell Daddy something.”

I was fairly certain I knew what Daddy was going to be told, but I yelled for Ries, who was doing the dinner dishes, “Daddy! Gideon has something to tell you.”

Ries dutifully appeared and I smiled at him, trying not to laugh.

“What, Gideon?” Ries asked.

In a very serious voice, Gideon announced, “Bum… has a hole in it.” Then he asked, “Daddy bum have a hole in it?”

To his credit, Ries, who had been hearing the exchange before entering said very solemnly, “Yes, my bum has a hole in it. That’s where the poop comes out.”

“Everyone’s bum has a hole in it,” I added for good measure. Gideon made the connection and said, “Mommy’s bum has a hole in it?”

“Yep.”

The conversation continued in this vein for the rest of bath time.

Sunday night at bath time, I said something to my child I thought I would never say in my life, “Gideon, take your finger out of your bum. That is where the poop comes out. Yucky.”

It was really hard to ask him to do that with a straight face. I was laughing on the inside.

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