Pants Not Optional

An actual conversation which occurred earlier today at my house:

 

The boys are laying around in their underwear. It is 12:30pm.

Me: Boys, get dressed. We’re going to the store.

Gideon: Yes, ma’am.

A minute later.

Gideon: Do we have to wear pants?

Me: Yes, we’re leaving the house. You have to wear pants or shorts. And a shirt.

Gideon: Do I have to wear shoes?

Me: Yes, you have to wear shoes!

 

In his defense, Wash has been sick and we have been in the house since Monday afternoon. Still, pants are not optional.

In the Night Time

I battle a special kind of kryptonite. My weakness is small boys in the night time.

They come, sometimes sneaking and sometimes padding on quick feet, to my side of the bed. If I know they are there, I lift the covers and invite their warm sleep bodies in. Often, I will feel their warmth on my back or their breath in my face after they are already snuggled in deep and back asleep.

The youngest one is still soft in the way only young children and babies are. That intoxicating smell of infancy clings to him with a fierceness and I breathe it in every chance I get. The oldest one is lanky already, but his cheeks hold kisses as easily as ever.

I never have the heart to send them back to their bed, with tears in their voices and Momma on their lips. I make their dad do it. His heart is harder than mine. I would rather wake with a crick in my neck and an ache in my back then send them back to their own room.

One day soon, they will sleep all night and never make the journey to my bed. They will grow to be taller than me and only kiss me when prompted. When they lean down to kiss me, I will breathe deep and remember what they smelled like when they were small in the night time.

Questions to Ask

Recently, I have been thinking of two things: how we teach our children to think of others and how we train ourselves to do the same thing.

In a Bible study for parents my friends are doing, the author prompted them to teach their children to ask “What needs to be done here?” when they leave a room or enter it.

“What needs to be done here?” forces the speaker to think how they can contribute to the overall effort of the family to keep the house, of a group to prepare for a meeting, or simply to help another person complete a task. What needs to be done could be picking up, doing dishes, opening the door for someone, or offering to help with an ongoing effort.

Asking “What needs to be done here?” also teaches that someone must step up to solve problems and that person is often you. Be courageous and ask, “What needs to be done here?” even if that thing is out of your comfort zone. Be someone who contributes and not someone who only takes.

Yesterday, the teacher of my Bible study group told us to ask ourselves “How can I show love in this situation?” Like the previous question, it forces the speaker to look beyond themselves and ask what someone else needs. Answering this question honestly means placing the needs of the person before you above your own. It means working towards loving someone else when we may feel like reacting in the exact opposite way.

Something our children, and some adults still, need to be taught is that it is not all about them. In fact, it never is. This path we are on is about others. It is about how we can best show love to other people. This is the thing Jesus asked of us. He told us to love God and love others.

He did not say love when it was convenient, when we were being loved in return, or when we would get something out of it. He just said to love.

Next time you are in a situation with anther person and you are unsure what to do ask, “How can I show love in this situation?” or “What needs to be done here?” and then have the courage to respond.

 

A Three Year Old’s Prayer

We say prayers for many things in our family. At meals and bedtime, we let the boys lead the prayers. They usually choose to sing the mealtime prayer and switch off saying the bedtime ones. Wash, who just turned three, has the idea of continually giving thanksgiving down.

Wash’s Prayer

Thank you God for eatin’
Thank you, God.
Thank you, God for playin’
Thank you, God.
Thank you, God for dinosaurs.
Thank you, God.
Thank you, God for sleepin’
Thank you, God.

My children continually remind me to be thankful for the simple things in life. Thank you, God. Thank you, God.

Tuesday Devo: Anger Management

This is part of an ongoing series of devotionals for writers posted every other Tuesday.

They refused to listen and failed to remember the miracles you performed among them. They became stiff-necked and in their rebellion appointed a leader in order to return to their slavery. But you are a forgiving God, gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love. Therefore you did not desert them… Nehemiah 9:17

Though the God of the Old Testament frequently displays anger, it is stated over and over that God is “slow to anger.” Even when we refuse to listen or remember the blessings we are given, God still waits patiently for us to come back to him.

Anger can become a force itself in our lives. We allow it to control our behavior and then often regret harsh words or actions once the heat of the moment is past. As believers, we should be striving towards the image of Christ, who was compassionate, loving, and slow to anger. When we give ourselves over to anger and allow it to control our actions, we move farther from the purpose God has given to each of us which to bring glory to him by loving Him and loving others.

The more we conform to Him, by loving others, the more our lives will be a testament to the transformative power of His influence and love. By remembering blessings and being thankful, we can steer our anger to more productive emotions.

For you: Is there an area of anger you need to release to God? Is there a person or situation in your life to which you could show more compassion and less anger?

For your characters: What is the one thing which sets them off faster than anything else? What does this short fuse area reveal about them? Does their anger bother them or others around them? Do they make an effort to control their reactions?

Subterfuge and Motherhood

I know lying is wrong. It says so in the Bible. It was important enough to be in the Top 10 things To Do and Not Do, according to God. However, any good mom knows a little subterfuge is all a part of doing the job and doing it well.

Here are some examples.

Example #1

Over the year, my kids get a lot of candy. It all goes into gallon bags with their names on it in the pantry. Whenever they remember it exists, which is not every day, they ask to have some. If it is appropriate timing or I can use the candy as a bribe (eat all your kale), I do. My kids do not eat candy frequently enough to ever eat all the candy in our bags and I am certainly not going to eat all of it since I do not want to weigh 500 pounds.

What’s a good mom to do? I can’t just throw all the candy away. They would notice that. Kids are smart and sneaky, just like moms. We have to be smarter and sneakier.

I throw the candy away a little at a time. That way, the volume reduces gradually and they never know. You must be careful, though to throw the candy away in such a way that they will never know, which brings me to Example 2.

Example #2

Kids bring home two categories of trash. Stuff they make that is “priceless” and they want to keep forever and trash people give them. You know what I mean by the latter. Cheap toys that break within 5 minutes, decks of cards with cards missing, rocks, broken rubber bands, twisty ties, jar lids, and kid’s meal toys. You know, all the stuff they never want to get rid of.

If you are not careful, your house will be like Sarah Cynthia Sylvia Stout‘s and you will drown in garbage. To avoid this, while your kids are out of the house, choose a handful of the trash items and throw them away. Warning: Do not simply toss them into the trash can. You have to bury them under other trash or put them in a bag and throw them away.

People without kids are now thinking I am one crazy, paranoid lady, but let me tell you that every time a kid throws something in the trashcan, they spend a looooong time peering into that can. They know something fishy is going on in their house. If they see even the spec of some beloved item/piece of trash actually in the trashcan. All. hell. will. break. loose. Bury that stuff deep and put some smelly garbage on top of it for good measure.

I am not even going to cover all the things we regularly tell kids which are out and out lies: Santa, the Easter Bunny, or why they can’t watch Thomas the Train. My friend hated Thomas so much she told her two-year-old Thomas was not on TV anymore or Netflix or anywhere. I laughed and was sorry I did not think of that first.

Happy Parenting!

Tuesday Devo: Surrounded

This is an ongoing series of devotionals for writers posted every other Tuesday.

When evildoers came upon me to devour my flesh,
My adversaries and my enemies, they stumbled and fell.
Though a host encamp against me,
My heart will not fear;
Though war arise against me,
In spite of this I shall be confident.

Wait for the Lord;
Be strong and let your heart take courage;
Yes, wait for the Lord.

Psalm 27:2-3, 14

Our true nature is often revealed by how we react to adversity. When we are surrounded by enemies and there is no path through the darkness, we must find a way to move forward, to overcome, or be overcome ourselves.

The Psalms are full of the wailing and pleading of people, mostly David, for God to help them in their times of greatest need. Times when the tears are so many they feel they could drown. Times when the enemy is so numerous there is no escape. Times when the writer is so ashamed by their own guilt they could not face themselves.

Psalm 27 is my favorite of all the Psalms and one of the many things it says is to be confident and wait on the Lord. It says, do not fear the enemy surrounding you, but be confident in the Lord and in your ability to be courageous and do what is right.

For you:

Are you surrounded today by an enemy or by a treacherous path? What can you do to find God in your trouble and find victory?If you need courage or patience for your current situation, pray to the Lord for His strength.

For your characters:

How do your characters act when they are surrounded and things are not going their way? What do their reactions tell the reader about their past or their personality? Does the way they react change over the course of the story? Why?

Tuesday Devo: Resolutions

This is part of an ongoing series of devotionals for writers posted on Tuesdays. I skipped last week because of Christmas. I hope yours was wonderful.

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

This is the time of year when everyone is making resolutions crossing the gamut from diet to improving one’s mind. Every resolution starts out with 100% commitment, but only 12% of resolutions come to fruition.

I do not normally make New Year’s resolutions and this year will be no different. I prefer goals instead of resolutions. Goals are more attainable. Resolutions seem more amorphous. It is all semantics.

As Ecclesiastes 3 points out, all things have a season. Each turning year marks a new season in our lives. Whether you make a resolution this year or not you can choose to walk into 2014 and make it a different, better season.

Spend more time listening to God. Choose to love others. Choose to forgive. Choose to listen rather than speak. Choose to dance.

Choose a better season.

For you: If you make a New Year’s resolution, make it small with measurable goals. For example, I want to do one kind thing for someone else each week or I want to pray for another person every day or I will choose to be thankful for a different blessing each day.

For your characters: If your character made a New Year’s resolution, what would it be and why? What does this desire say about them and their priorities? What will they do if they fail? What will they do if they succeed?

I’m Batman

There has been a rash of sickness at our house. We have all been trading a sinus infection around like baseball trading cards. Wash was the last one to be sick.

I indulge the boys more than normal when they are sick so I let Wash stay in his Batman shirt for three days. It could have been more, but honestly, I lost count.

He slept, ate, and even left the house multiple times with that shirt on. No, I did not wash it in between wearings. Yes, I took my sick child out of the house.

On Sunday, he wanted to wear it to church, so I told him he could wear it under his dress shirt.

Me: You can wear this shirt over your Batman shirt. It’s your secret identity.

Wash: I’m Batman.

Me, buttoning up his shirt: Don’t tell anyone. It’s a secret.

Wash: I’m going to tell everyone my secret identity. I’m Batman.

Me: I think you’re missing the point.

Once at church, he unbuttoned his shirt to show everyone.

I’m Batman.

Tuesday Devo: Shepherding Your Past

This is part of an ongoing series of devotionals for writers posted on Tuesdays.

And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.” Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, “Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.” Luke 2:8-14

Some things in our life do not make sense until time has passed. Some events, even though significant, do not fully reveal their meaning until much later.

God’s only Son was born and He sent angels to a cold field full of sheep and lowly shepherds. He could have sent the host of angels to the palaces in the region to declare his intentions: This child will change the world. He will rule, but not as people expect. He will rule with service and love, not with power and wealth.

But God did not send his declaration to the important people. He sent his declaration to the people who needed to hear it and who were open to the message.

Shepherds seem an unlikely audience until you consider that Jesus became The Shepherd. He gathers his flock to Himself. He claims them and protects them from a world of wolves. When we know the whole story, the humble audience makes much more sense.

For You:

Is there an incident in your past which only made sense after time had past? Did that time in your life prepare you for something you are doing now?

For your characters:

Choose an incident from your character’s past. Do they fully understand the meaning and impact this event has on their current situation? Can you help them through this growth during the course of your plot?

Do Not Be Silent

(This is the third in a series of devotionals for writers which was originally created for a writer’s retreat I hosted.)

Offer to God a sacrifice of thanksgiving, and pay your vows to the Most High; and call upon Me in the day of trouble; I shall rescue you, and you will honor me. – Psalm 50:14-15

When we call on God in our trouble, God rescues us and redeems our trials. He rescues us in the way that only He can. When we have gone through the fire, we come out refined and then another work begins, the work of telling our tale.

Our thankfulness is a pleasing sacrifice to the Lord. Telling others of all the ways God has moved in our lives is a sacrifice which honors Him and the work He has done in us and it shows others what His love looks like in the life of a believer.

One of the blessings of our trials is the way we use what we have learned for God in service to Him and others. Do not be silent. Be glad and proclaim the wonders He has wrought in your life.

I will give thanks to the Lord with all my heart; I will tell of all They wonders. I will be glad and exult in Thee; I will sing praise to Thy name, O Most High. -Psalm 9:1-2.

Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise—the fruit of lips that openly profess his name. And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased.–Hebrews 13:15-16

For You:
For what are you thankful? Think beyond the normal list and dig deep. Do you share this thankfulness with others? Why or why not?

For your characters:
For what are your characters thankful? What does this reveal about their hearts? Does their list change as their story progresses?

Trouble Redeemed

(This is the second in a series of devotionals for writers which was originally created for a writer’s retreat I hosted.)

Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial; for once he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life, which the Lord has promised to those who love Him. – James 1:12

As believers we are not assured an easy life, free of troubles. We live in a fallen world and we will face trouble, but how we face them and what we learn from God as we walk through the storms in our life make the difference. When we persevere under trial and draw near to God amidst the storm, He refines us into a better version of ourselves. Just as He redeemed us through Christ, He continues to redeem our trials so we can grow to be more like the Son who saved us.

When we allow the Lord to refine us, He blesses us in ways we never would have imagined. In the middle of his pain, Job could only see the disaster his life has become. He had no notion that God would turn his sorrow into joy and wealth.

And the Lord restored the fortunes of Job when he prayed for his friends, and the Lord increased all that Job had twofold… And the Lord blessed the latter days of Job more than his beginning… – Job 42:10, 12

When we focus on our own troubles and lose sight of the Lord, we forget that our path is not about what is happening now but the destination and reward before us, the crown of life which we receive at the end of our journey to Him.

For you:
How has the Lord redeemed a trial in your life? What were the unexpected blessings of your trial? If you are currently facing trouble, do you need to refocus on Him?

For your characters: 
How do the conflicts in your WIP refine and redeem your characters? How does each character’s personality affect how they struggle and grow through the conflict? What do they learn about themselves at the end of their journey? What do they learn about God?

We’ve A Story to Tell All the Nations

This is the first in a series of devotionals for writers which was originally created for a writer’s retreat I hosted.

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good;
his love endures forever.
Let the redeemed of the Lord tell their story—
those he redeemed from the hand of the foe,
those he gathered from the lands,
from east and west, from north and south.
Some wandered in desert wastelands,
finding no way to a city where they could settle.
They were hungry and thirsty,
and their lives ebbed away.
Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble,
and he delivered them from their distress.
He led them by a straight way
to a city where they could settle.
Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love
and his wonderful deeds for mankind,
for he satisfies the thirsty
and fills the hungry with good things.
-Psalm 107:1-9

Each of us has been given a story filled with wanderings, hunger, trouble, and despair. It is also a story of redemption and triumph. It is a story we are asked to share with the world for His glory, to bring hope and love to others.

Our stories are unique to us. God has given no one else our lives, our talents, or our hearts. He gathered us from where we wandered and brought us to His arms so that we may know our story has a purpose. It is a purpose which rests in the knowledge that He loves us and has called us to love Him and others by sharing our stories and our lives.

Sometimes we may feel that our story is inadequate or not as compelling as someone else’s testimony, but we are the only ones with our lives and experiences. We have this one life, one story for God and it has value because He has given it to us. “Let the redeemed of of the Lord tell their story.”

For You:

• What are the pieces of your own walk with God that are essential to your story with Him?
• What parts of your journey are hard to share? Why?
• How often do you feel led to share your story with others? Do you ever ignore the Holy Spirit’s nudge to share? Why?
• Is it easier to tell fictional stories than your own? Explain.

For Your Characters:

• Does your character feel their story is important to others? Why or why not?
• Do they feel comfortable sharing themselves with others? Why or why not?
• Most of us have a turning point in our past where we made a different decision, took a different path, or made a change so big nothing was ever the same. What thing in your character’s past changed the way their future unfolded? Would they say this event was a positive or negative change?

Leeeegzzzz!

We like to play games at our house. Ries and I have always liked games, but some friends of ours introduced us to the world of Euro and Indie games a few years ago (Thanks, Robin and Philip!). If you are stuck on Monopoly and Life, you need to do some searching around.

We started building our game collection. It is nothing fancy, but we have some great games: Munchkin, Rukus, Ticket to Ride, Lords of Waterdeep, Odin’s Ravens, and Cards Against Humanity are favorites. If you want to watch some of these games in action, I suggest watching some episodes of TableTop. With some birthday money, I added The Resistance and Zombie Dice to our collection.

I bought Zombie Dice because I thought it would be a game the boys could play and I love zombies (who doesn’t?). I was gone last night to a women’s dinner at church and the boys played with the Zombie Dice.

After the game, Zombie Wash caught Gideon and the following happened:

Wash, chewing on his brother’s leg: I am a zombie, I am eating your braaaaaains.

Gideon: That’s my leg, not my brain.

Just another night at our house folks, where dice games degenerate into the flesh eating zombie horde.

Back At the Beginning

I am back where I started and it is a good place to be.

My first job outside of college was at the church which grew me through my formative years and took me back in after my wayward college years. When I most needed a job, I found one in the music ministry. It was not a glamorous job by any means, but no other job I have ever held has equaled it for benefits.

The people I worked with in that ministry taught me what it was to walk with the Lord. They showed me what being an adult Christian looked like and I was blown away by the honest truth of it. I found myself again during that time. It laid me on a path from which I would occasionally stray, but that I would never abandon.

I was just a secretary, but in that job I found family and friends and love. They taught me how to live life well and love others and to do so with joy.

I have had jobs since then. Jobs where I did good, but which were mostly about me. Jobs that I loved and that loved me back, but they were still mostly about what I did and what I could do. I was great at being a librarian, but I allowed my pride to take a large role in my life during that time and it was not a pretty thing most days. Pride never is.

I have been given the opportunity again to do something meaningful. To work behind the scenes and serve. I have a new job. I am the Women’s Ministry Assistant at my church. Yes, I am a secretary ten hours a week, but do not let the title or the small hours deceive you. It is a job in which all my efforts work towards the end goal of loving and serving others. All those benefits and I will still have time to serve my family and write.

I have the blessing of working in the family that has already been loving and shepherding me for many years now. My job will free the time of others to spend more time in service, something all believers are called to do. Love and serve.

I am back where I started and it is a great place to be.

It’s A Big Day

Today was Gideon’s first day of Kindergarten. He was excited about his new teacher, new class, and new school.

I am not worried about him in his big new pond. He is a great swimmer.

It amused me that the PTA hosted a “BooHoo Breakfast” for the Kindergarten parents. Some of my friends are very sad and filled with anxiety over this milestone, but my feelings boil down to, “Praise Jesus.”

I am happy and excited for Gideon and for me. We will both be venturing into new territory. He will be in real school where he will learn all kinds of things I wish he did not,  how mean kids can be, and things I do not have the patience to teach him, Math.

I will be down one kid every day and, with Wash in preschool three half days, I will have actual kid-free time on a regular basis. I already have multiple ways to fill this time, of course I do!

I want to grab all those sad parents by the shoulders and shake them. This is not a day to be sad. This is a day to rejoice. This is a day our children start their journey to being a useful member of society. I know, I know. Laying the groundwork when they are young is essential. I know. I did that, but now their real journey starts.

How can I be anything but joyful on this day when the whole world is open to him? There are so few moments in your life when the possibilities are as vast as they are when you start school. Kindergarten. Starting college. Beginning a new career. Getting married.

This is one of those rare opportunities to treasure. It should be a day when the zing in your step and your mind are so great you leave rainbows and songs in your wake, not tears.

I hope he has so many great things to tell me that he does not shut up for the rest of the day. If his first day was less than stellar, we will pick ourselves up and try again tomorrow, because it is all part of life and the learning process.

Writing a Bio

I have been serving in different teaching capacities at our church for a few years now. For the fall, Ries and I are both stepping into new leadership roles. Because of this, I was asked to provide a bio for the church’s website. (update: They are in the midst of revamping and simplifying the site, so the bios are on hold.)

What would I include in a bio for church?

I have standard bios, of varying lengths, I use for writing and training, but they are appropriately focused on those areas. As I sat in front of a blank screen yesterday, all I could come up with was this:

Michelle spends her time reading, writing, brewing beer, and praying for no zombies tonight.

I do not think that is what my, albeit liberal, Baptist church has in mind. All the other bios on the page talk about how much passion they have for sharing Christ (I have that), and how much they love teaching or helping others (I love those things too), what kind of family they have (I’ve got that too!), and a favorite verse (boy, do I have one of those). How do I merge the quirky and sometimes inappropriate me with the more gentle me?

I have gentled in the past few years, especially since leaving the regular workforce and having kids. Nothing humbles a person like having a baby poop on your favorite shirt, never being able to go to the bathroom alone, or really do almost anything you used to do at your own leisure again. (For example, while writing this one post, I was interrupted for lunch; multiple bathroom breaks, not mine; copious crying, also not mine; and putting the youngest down for a nap, sadly not my nap.)

I was in desperate need of humbling when I left work. I thought more of myself than anything else. At the time, I thought I was staying home for my family because God asked me to.

Now, I know God asked me to stay home for me. In His mercy, He has made me see what I could have become and led me to be someone else instead. Still me, but better. Less prideful (most of the time) and more empathetic (usually). Do I still struggle with all my faults? How much time do you have for me to tell you about all the ways I have screwed up lately?

Each day I learn something new about the world, myself, and God and I grow. If I write a personal bio, not the kind for professional use, I want it to reflect the way I have grown and how much the discovery process as I go means to me and my journey to God.

If I wrote a bio for my church website, it might say something like this:

Michelle came to know Jesus at a young age, but never understood what it meant to be a precious child of God until she was much older. She is passionate about teaching and discovering the wonder of God’s love and provision. Michelle serves with her husband, Ries, in the youth ministry and they have two small boys of their own. Michelle is many things depending on who you ask: a writer, a reader, a technology guru, a baker, a geek, or someone to laugh with.  No matter her role in the moment, she strives to love others as Jesus asked. Her life verse is Psalm 27, the ending of which implores we, “Wait for the Lord; Be strong, and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the Lord.”

What would your bio say?

Rejection and Rainbows

Being a writer means getting familiar with rejection. Most rejections are form rejections editors and agents send out by the dozens of hundreds. If you are lucky, you will get a personal email with individual regrets. The personal email is, I have found, even more painful to receive than the impersonal one because it means they like your story a lot, but they did not like like it. If you are very lucky, you will receive a revise and resubmit or an offer to direct submit next time.

I am not what you might label a patient person. If I had to choose my two worst traits, the ones which have caused me the most damage, it would be my lack of patience and my overabundance of pride. God will be working on these thorns for the rest of my life. I can honestly say I improve marginally as the months and years go by but the learning process stinks.

I have, without a doubt, chosen a profession in which patience and humility are required.

I have been querying publishers, the fancy publishing word for sending my manuscript or parts of it out with a letter, for almost a year. During that time, I have continued to write and learn about the publishing industry. It has been a year in which I have doubted, dreamed, and hoped.

When I needed it most, God blessed me with encouragement in the form of a woman I met in my women’s Bible study on Tuesdays.

Pam is an older lady, wise in her years, who always has a smile for people. She is one of our greeters and helps get everything set up on Tuesday mornings. I do not know her very well, we have never been in a small group together, but she is always kind and friendly.

One morning this past January, Pam pulled me aside after leader’s prayer and encouraged me to keep writing and to believe in myself. She asked if I had ever heard of Debbie Macomber. I said of course I had. Pam continued to tell me Macomber’s story, how she struggled for years to be published before finally getting a break and how she is a Christian who chooses purposefully to write mainstream fiction. Pam’s kind words made me smile and hope.

I went home after Bible study and looked up Debbie Macomber’s blog on which she was posting about her word for the year. It is a word she uses to center her life and walk with Christ each year. What a beautiful idea.

Later that day, I received my first rejection letter, a form letter, from my first choice publisher. Rejection, as I said in the beginning, is the norm in publishing, not an offer call. Though I had been expecting to see it in my inbox, it still made me doubt this path I had willingly chosen. My doubt spiraled downward into a pit.

Then, I remembered how, only a few hours earlier, God had placed Pam in my path to encourage me on this day, at this time, so I would know and not doubt. From then on, when I wavered in my conviction, I remembered God had been good to me on the very day I received my first rejection from the publisher and editor I admired so much.

It was not my last rejection letter. I have received many others. They were disappointing but none stung the way that first one did, until now.

A couple of weeks ago, there was an email in my inbox from an editor asking if my manuscript was still available. I did a snoopy dance and told her it was. We had a nice email exchange and she said she would get back to me. I was hopeful again, but cautious. The publisher was on the top of my list and would be perfect for my blended genre novel.

I waited two weeks. We were in the car on the way home when I read the email. The answer was not the one I had wished for. The editor was kind and offered a direct submission for my next work, which is wonderful and gratifying, but it did not make the rejection hurt less. Being liked, but not like liked is awful and I felt awful, sad, and frustrated. I was grateful to the editor who spend her time reading and responding to me personally, but I was hurt regardless.

I was silent most of the way home. I climbed out of the car, dejected and tearful. Ries went to the mailbox with Gideon and I heard him say I had a package. I could not remember ordering anything, but it was likely I had just forgotten about it. He handed me an Amazon box. In the return address label space was the name Pam.

Inside the box was the book Once Upon a Time by Debbie Macomber. In it, Macomber talks about the writing process and how God tells a story though each of us. It was just released on May 28th, Pam ordered a copy and sent it to me, and I received it the same hour I read the rejection from the editor.

Twice, when I needed encouragement and a reminder the most, God sent it to me through Pam’s kindness, a rainbow on a dreary day. Twice, when I doubted the most, He told me to be patient, to wait, to be humble, and to continue on. The beauty of Pam’s encouragement was the rainbow I needed that day and a blessing from God.

I am looking forward to seeing Pam so I can give her a huge hug and tell her how she has blessed my life, again. I have many more lessons to learn, lessons of perseverance and patience, but I know I never learn them alone.

“I set My bow in the cloud, and it shall be for a sign of a covenant between Me and the earth.” – Genesis 9:13