Big Heads, Big Brains

Over the Smith family dinner tble we have a lot of interesting discussions, ranging from what we did that day to national and international news. Gideon participates, asking questions and adding quips. He usually interrupts the more boring conversations to him, the news, with requests to help him spell (sound out) words, his new favorite thing to do.

Last night, I was recounting Wash’s doctor’s appointment to Ries over dinner. Washington’s stats at 4 months are:

Weight: 16.03 lbs (60% percentile)
Length: 25.25 in. (50% percentile)
Head Circ.: 17.25 in (95.88% percentile).

We were laughing that the short, fat, large meloned babies the Miesmers are famous for definitely did not skip our boys as infants. I told Ries that the doctor said that his head was big because it has to “hold all those brains.” I added that Wash will be smart, just like his brother.

Gideon looked at me from across the table and said, “Now that’s a problem for you.”

I laughed and told him that indeed, it was going to be a problem for me. In fact, it already is most days.

Washington is progressing just like he should, babbling, laughing, grabbing things (and putting those things in his mouth), and doing push-ups during tummy time. He eats great and sleeps like a champ, going to bed around 9pm and waking up between 3:30 and 6am. That is a whole lotta sleep for this momma!

My boys keep me on my toes, with those big brain-filled melons, and I would not have it any other way.

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Parenting Advice You May Want to Ignore*

When Ries sees that Gideon has an excess of energy, which at three is about 70% of the time, he simply tells the ball of energy to, “Run around in circles.”

Gideon is always happy to comply and will immediately start running in tight circles for about 5-10 rotations, gleefully laughing. At the end of the rotations, he staggers like a pirate on a rum bender, still running at top speed. After he regains his vertigo, Ries will yell, “Do it again!” at which point the cycle continues.

Last night, I was watching this familiar drama when…

Gideon, after a couple cycles of running circles yelled, “I know what I am doing!”

And then promptly ran his forehead into the high chair at which point his parents laughed like loons while our three year old tumbled to the floor.

*People, do not try this at home. We are untrained professionals and have no idea what the hell we are doing.

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It’s Amazing

We have been occupied with getting ready for Brother’s impending arrival, 3 weeks and counting, and battling a bought of unpleasant sickness. Thankfully, I have so far escaped the flu/cold thing that brought Gideon and Ries so low. Everyone is more or less on the mend. I will post a more newsy update later. For now, I have a funny story for you, involving a boy and his favorite body part which will be referred to for the remaining of the post with the word “twig”.

Gideon was on the potty before nap time today as a preemptive strike. He did not have to go, but did proceed to play with his twig. I mean, it was already out there, right? As twigs are wont to do, it became less, ahem, flaccid that normal. At this point, I decided he was definitely not going to pee, so I took him off the potty. He stood there, holding his twig, which was pointing straight out, looked up at me, lifted his eyebrows, and said, “Isn’t it amazing?”

Amazing was the exact word I was searching for. Actually, I was laughing so hard I did not have a reply for him.

When he is older, he will be mortified that I tell these kinds of stories. I love being a Mom. Bwahahahaaaaa.

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Like Father, Like Son

Our Future Homebrewer

Originally uploaded by Wandering Eyre

Our new Brew Your Own Magazine came in the mail today. Gideon carried it inside, sat down on the couch, and told me he was reading about beer. Nothing gets by this kid.

His Gammy informed me today that while they were watching him on Friday he made a friend at their church, a girlfriend. While playing on the indoor playground, which is one of those play structures with a lot of tubes for climbing, he met a girl names Rachael from the 3 year old class.

Gideon and Rachael sat in the tube together with Rachael planted firmly in Gideon’s lap. I am told he had his arms around her and kissed her on the cheek when she left.

What a flirt!

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When I get big…

Yesterday morning, Gideon, who is two, crawled in bed with me, naked funny enough given what followed, and proceeded to have the following conversation with me:

Gideon: When I get bigger, I am going to have a big twig*
Me, wanting to temper his expectations just in case: Well, I think it will be just the right size for you.
Gideon: No. When I bigger and bigger, I am going to have a big twig!
Me, trying again: Your twig will grow bigger as you get bigger but it will always be just the right size.
Gideon: It will be big.
Me, giving up: OK.

I had no idea that being a boy and having boy parts was not only captivating but contemplative as one considered the future. I am hoping to be spared more twig conversations with the next one and get a girl, whose parts I am way more familiar with.

Ries, of course, was no help and spent the entire time laughing at us in the bathroom as he got ready for work.

*twig being a euphemism for his boy part which he used the correct term for.

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Holes

It must be wonderful to be young and to have every day filled with new and exciting discoveries. Every experience is unique and wonderful. Gideon made a truly astuonding discovery last Thursday. Here was the event as it unfolded:

Gideon was taking a bath and playing. I noticed he had his hand underneath his junk (his boy parts which we do call by their actual names but I figured would be better left off this post). I figured he was just playing with it or cleaning his “undercarriage” as the boys in this house call it. He looked up at me and said with wonder in his voice, “Bum… has a hole. Bum has a hole in it.” I realized he must have been reaching a bit farther back than I thought. With my lips twitching up I replied, “You are right. Your bum does have a hole in it.”

He kept feeling around and repeating, “Bum has a hole in it.”

I told him that was where the poop comes out. He thought about that for awhile, continuing to feel the area in discussion. I could see the wheels turning around in his head.

After a couple minutes of this conversation going in circles between the two of us, Gideon said, “Tell Daddy. Tell Daddy something.”

I was fairly certain I knew what Daddy was going to be told, but I yelled for Ries, who was doing the dinner dishes, “Daddy! Gideon has something to tell you.”

Ries dutifully appeared and I smiled at him, trying not to laugh.

“What, Gideon?” Ries asked.

In a very serious voice, Gideon announced, “Bum… has a hole in it.” Then he asked, “Daddy bum have a hole in it?”

To his credit, Ries, who had been hearing the exchange before entering said very solemnly, “Yes, my bum has a hole in it. That’s where the poop comes out.”

“Everyone’s bum has a hole in it,” I added for good measure. Gideon made the connection and said, “Mommy’s bum has a hole in it?”

“Yep.”

The conversation continued in this vein for the rest of bath time.

Sunday night at bath time, I said something to my child I thought I would never say in my life, “Gideon, take your finger out of your bum. That is where the poop comes out. Yucky.”

It was really hard to ask him to do that with a straight face. I was laughing on the inside.

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Do You Hear What I Hear?

Gideon recently discovered that the world sounds different with his fingers in his ears.

Friday, he popped his fingers in his ears and leaned close to me and said very earnestly into my face, “I hear the voices.”

So do I, kiddo. So do I.

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Evening Prayers

We say a prayer before eating and as long as Gideon has sat at the table with us, he has participated in this family ritual. During the day, we also bless our breakfast and lunch as well. I alter the prayer a little when it is just Gideon and myself, but we basically pray for similar things, three times a day: a blessing on the food, thankfulness for our blessings, and choices made to use the blessings well. Gideon folds his hands and listens.

I realized this week that it is past time for us to start adding night time prayers to Gideon’s bedtime routine. Last night, after reading three books, but before the songs, I told Gideon we were going to start saying a prayer before bed. Everything was fine, but Gideon reminded me of something I left out. This is the prayer that we said after folding our hands:

Me: Dear Lord,
Thank you for a beautiful day. Thank you for Daddy who takes good care of us. Thank you for Mommy. Thank you for Puppy Dog.
Gideon: Food
Me: Yes, thank you for the food we have to eat. Thank you for Jesus. Amen.

It was hard not to laugh, but it did make me smile real big.

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He Works Hard for the Money

Gideon is picking up all kinds of words.  Some are unintended (ahem, Michelle).  But in this case we have been telling Gideon that when I leave in the morning for work that I have to go to work to earn money.  It is quite a  joy to come home from work / school and Gideon is extremely excited to see me.  Sometimes he is more excited about the dog getting excited then he is about my presence, but we’ll ignore that fact.

Yesterday I got home from work and Gideon came running from the kitchen where he was helping Momma make dinner.  He turned the corner and stopped.  He raised one eyebrow in the way he so often does (don’t know where that came from) and pointed to his open palm and said, “Money?”  When did my kid turn into a teenager (or wife)?  I seriously don’t know where he got the hand gesture in relation to money but I wish I could post the image that I captured in my mind.  It was priceless.

Michelle also tells me that they were checking out at the store when Gideon said, “Daddy, money.”  The cashier thought he was precious, of course.

– Ries, the provider

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Update on New Computer: Validated Windows 7

First off, I want to say, that I am an idiot, but I will get to that later.

I described in an earlier post about how I was having trouble putting Windows 7 on my computer.  I bought Windows 7 Ultimate for $20 through UH, since I am a student there.  However, the disk was only an upgrade version and this was a brand spanking new computer with no operating system ever installed.  Therfore, I went ahead and ordered an OEM (Original Equipment Manufactur, basically it is for computer system builders like Dell, HP, smaller boutiques and others but you can buy it from some e-tailers) version of Windows 7 Home Premium for $110.  That was significantly more than I wanted to spend.

But I did some research.  I found this site, which gave great advice on how to use upgrade disks to do a clean install.  But here was the problem.  You always had to use a product key to validate the software and the disk said on the front “Requires Product Key”.  So, I didn’t have one.  I assumed that meant that if you were updating a version of Windows then you had to use the key from the Windows that you were upgrading.  Makes sense to me.  Since we were wiping Michelle’s computer and putting Ubuntu Linux on it (I’ll let Michelle write a future post on her Linux experience)  I figured it was legal to use that Windows XP key.  It would be like I removed it from there and installed on mine and then upgraded it to Windows 7.  I just skipped the part where I installed the XP on my machine since it would be a pointless step.  All sounds good and legal.  However, the key did not work.  I thought I might have to waste my OEM home edition version to get that key and I hope it didn’t downgrade my version.

So, I called Microsoft.  I hate calling people but I wasn’t giving up so easy.  They said that every Windows 7 has to have its own key and that the XP one would not work.  If I got it through my school then I need to contact them about getting a key.  If I still had problems call them back.  They were actually a pretty good support.  I was afraid they were going to try and accuse me of piracy.

If you have read this far, this is the point where Michelle wanted me to blog because she likes to laugh at me.  Remember how I said I was an idiot?  So I called up the UH software store, Cougar Byte, and told them I bought Windows 7 from them but I didn’t get a product key.  I had the disk with me and my receipt and I was prepared for a possible battle but expected it to be pretty easy.  They would just say, “Oh, here it is…”  But here’s how it really played out.  He asks me, “do you still have the sleeve the disk came in?”  I said, “Yes.”  I already know where this is going, he is going to ask me to look on the sleeve for the product key, but I am thinking okay I’ll humor you with this step because of course I looked on the sleeve.  That is where I would expect it to be, right on the back.  After all, I had just installed Office 2007 with software from them and that is exactly where the key was and exactly where I looked.  So he says to me, “Turn it over.”  I’m like, okay, whatever.   “Holy crap!”  I exclaimed on the phone.  There it was!  Plain as day, a bright yellow sticker on a black background with the product key.  He laughed.  I apologized for being an idiot.  He tried to comfort me by telling me it happens a lot.  I felt like the guy who was told to take his computer back to the store by a support tech because he was too dumb to own a computer when he called asking why his desktop wouldn’t turn on during a power outtage (I think the tech was right).

So, in the end, I had a valid key, I used method #2 described in the link above to get my Windows 7 Ultimate working, and I spent $110 on a copy of Windows that I didn’t need (by the way, since I bought the cheaper OEM version instead of the retail version I can not return it either).

–Ries, all that’s left is to overclock this bad boy!  (Idiot, idiot!)

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It’s Full, Please Change Receptacle

Today is Tuesday. Tuesday means Gideon and I head up to church. I go to a women’s Bible study and he goes to childcare for 3 hours. He loves playing with the other kids and is rarely sad to see me go. Today, he actually cried when I picked him up because he had to leave the slide behind.

That’s right. I now rank somewhere between a plastic slide and Goldfish. *sigh* Being a mother is thankless.

Gideon’s tell when his diaper is wet or dirty is to play with the velcro tabs. He does occasionally succeed in unhinging one side of his diaper but this mostly happens when he is sans pants.

Today, they took the kids for a walk outside during childcare. The ladies noticed that Gideon’s pants looked funny (he had on cotton shorts today). Suddenly, they saw little turds dropping from his diaper onto the ground! He had unhooked his diaper and was dispersing his poop outside.

Perhaps he was tired of having poop in his diaper. Perhaps he was marking his territory. Less likely is my other theory that he was leaving a trail to get back to the building.

Ries said that this reminds him of the scene in Shawshank Redemption where Andy is dropping rocks and gravel into the yard from his tunneling efforts.

On a side excrement note, Gideon peed in the potty today! It was a time for great rejoicing and then he demanded we get back to book reading.

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There must be one drop left…

There must be one drop left…

Originally uploaded by Wandering Eyre

We went to St. Arnold Brewery a couple weeks ago and I caught Gideon sucking the beer flavored air trapped in Ries’ glass.

He walked around for about 10 minutes, tilting up that glass, and hoping against hope.

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On Baby Names

The thing about baby names is that everyone has an opinion about them and everyone believes their opinion is the right one. That was one reason why Ries and I concealed Gideon’s name before he was born. The second reason being that is it was nice to have a secret about the baby that only the two of us knew.

With that in mind:

Many years ago, I came across this site about baby names that made me realize two things: people name their children the most ridiculous things and I am not the only one who hates the inappropriate use of the letter Y.

Adding the letter Y to a name that is not Celtic or Welsh or some other ethnicity does not result in a trendier, cooler name. *sigh* It results in a really stupid name for your child and for girls it gives them a lovely name to use when they become a stripper. Seriously.

What got me thinking about the letter Y and baby names? My midwife has a blog where she posts the birth of the babies she catches. A recent entry made me groan because not only it is a boy’s name bestowed upon a girl, it flagrantly misuses the poor, sad letter Y.

Like I said. Baby names. Everyone has an opinion.

No babies were harmed in the creation of this post.

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Bottle Boink

Disclaimer to CPS and concerned citizens:  Calm down, we are not giving our child alcohol and he is completely supervised.  That being said…

Sometimes, especially on nice days like we have had for the last few, Michelle and I like to grab a beer or two and sit outside in our backyard.  The backyard is easily the best part of our house.  We have a “lake” behind our house and a few trees (rare in this new neigborhood) that provide shade in the early evening.  We also get beautiful sunsets over the houses and trees on the west side of the lake.  It is nice.

I don’t know where he got it from (I’m going to blame Michelle), but Gideon is very interested in our beer bottles.  He knows exactly what to do with them when he gets his hands on them, probably because he watches Mom and Dad.  So, sometimes, when one of us finishes a beer we give him the empty bottle.  It keeps him amused for a long time.

This past weekend Gideon did something to Mom that Dad found to be hilarious.  And I know some of my college friends will too.  A particular incident at Salty Dog comes to mind and another incident with Mark and his hand.  Anyways, for those of you who know the trick (prank is really what it is), it won’t need explanation.  For those that don’t here it is.  If you are standing around with your friends drinking beer out of bottles.  If you notice your friend is not paying attention then you can “boink” the top of their bottle with the bottom of yours.  There is just the slightest pause, maybe a second, where nothing happens.  But then the recipients bottle begins to quickly foam up and overflow all over the place.  If you are the recipient of such a joke you have that slight pause available to stick that bottle to your mouth and start sucking foam or else it will be all over the place.  Well, this past weekend with empty bottle in hand, Gideon crawled up into Momma’s lap and “boinked” the full one in Michelle’s hand.  It was just a little tap and at first we just scolded Gideon and pulled him away.  But of course, that pause had elapsed and sure enough the foam started flowing and spilled all over Michelle’s lap.

Momma was not pleased.  Daddy thought it was hilarious, but don’t tell Gideon.

-Ries, trying not to let the boy see him laugh.

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Whose in your five?

Gideon

Originally uploaded by Wandering Eyre

I had to kick Momma out of my five because I have so many ladies on speed dial.

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A blanket is just too complicated

Ries and I were just talking about the product frequently advertised on tv called the Snuggie. Warning: The website automatically plays the commercial which is pretty loud. It is a fairly silly thing, as are many things available for only x payments of $19.95 a month. Call Now!

This morning, I saw a great YouTube video that makes (NSFW) fun of the Sunggie. It is hilarious. Because I know there are at least a couple people who do not know, NSFW means Not Safe For Work. It has some bad language.

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