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Archive for the ‘silliness’ Category

When Ries sees that Gideon has an excess of energy, which at three is about 70% of the time, he simply tells the ball of energy to, “Run around in circles.”

Gideon is always happy to comply and will immediately start running in tight circles for about 5-10 rotations, gleefully laughing. At the end of the rotations, he staggers like a pirate on a rum bender, still running at top speed. After he regains his vertigo, Ries will yell, “Do it again!” at which point the cycle continues.

Last night, I was watching this familiar drama when…

Gideon, after a couple cycles of running circles yelled, “I know what I am doing!”

And then promptly ran his forehead into the high chair at which point his parents laughed like loons while our three year old tumbled to the floor.

*People, do not try this at home. We are untrained professionals and have no idea what the hell we are doing.

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Safety First


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Originally uploaded by Wandering Eyre

Always wear the proper safety gear when playing full contact sports.

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My Retirement Plan

For those of you who are not aware, Michelle is writing a book.  It is a short non-fiction book on… well, I’m not sure I can tell you.  Sorry Sweety.  Something about technology in conferences.  I know it is not specific to libraries so I think it has to do with using today’s social networking and teleconference technology to hold conferences.  Anyways, not the point of this post.

I have decided that these non-fiction books aren’t going to fit into my retirement plan.  And by retirement plan, you have to realize that I am hoping to just keep my family floating for long enough for my wife to hit it rich and I can leech off her immense wealth.  I’ll even settle for mild to moderate wealth, as long as I don’t have to work.  So here is where I need to steer my wife in a new direction.  These non-fiction books require a lot of research, and believe it or not you can’t just make stuff up.  You have to write about facts.  Then, after all that, it doesn’t pay great.  I mean, don’t get me wrong it pays, but remember I am looking for break the bank type of retire now kind of pay.

Here is what I think Michelle should do.  Drop the non-fiction and move into fiction.  In fiction books she just gets to make up whatever she wants.  I say she goes into the YA field.  They sell big right now and readers are more forgiving to all kinds of things because they can just say, “Ah well, it’s just a children’s book.”  High reward, low risk.  But to make things even easier, she doesn’t even have to be original.  Have you seen the top sellers these days?  Vampires and werewolves, superheroes, fantasy, greek mythology.  None of these are new or original concept.  She can just recycle old ideas into a new story.  She doesn’t even have to get the mythology correct, she can change it to her whim because it is her universe.

Now, I understand that I have to play my role.  So I am currently thinking of a basis for her story or universe.  Here is what I know.

  • The main character (I prefer ensemble casts so I think I would push her towards a small group of people, 3 or 4) has to be a young teenager with some real life problems.  That helps the audience to relate.  Don’t worry they can be shallow problems.
  • There has to be some love interest.  Could be a love triangle.  Could be a love destined to be together from the beginning of time.
  • Character development is the most important thing.  In all seriousness, this is what makes books good.  You need a good plot / environment but what makes stories shine is always the characters.
  • The main character(s) need something that isolates them.  Most likely as both a gift and a curse.
  • Needs some kind of supernatural, superhuman, magical, fantasy, futuristic, etc. theme.  Something to take the reader out of this universe and into another one while still saying something about our own world.

So far I am thinking something along the lines of angels and demons but even that is a little played right now.  I need the new old thing.

I kind of went off on my views on how to write a book.  That’s a little odd coming from me since I am neither a good writer or a reader.  But I am allowed to have opinions right?  Right?  Maybe I shouldn’t.

–Ries, unicorns.  How about unicorns.  Girls like unicorns!

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Originally uploaded by Wandering Eyre

Darth Vader: Your powers are weak, old man.
Obi-Wan: You can’t win, Darth. If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine.

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Bee Bo!




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Originally uploaded by Wandering Eyre

“You might not know what ‘Bee Bo’ means. Or maybe you’ve forgotten. It’s just the tiny hippo way of saying… BELLY BUTTON!” –Sandra Boynton

On Saturday, we had a bunch of friends over to play board games. Gideon got the blue balloon, pictured here, earlier in the day at Kroger. I had forgotten that one of my friends coming over to the house is scared of balloons. She said her anxiety stems from the fact that you never quite know when they are going to… POP!

So my friend arrives and is like, “Oh great, a balloon!” and she proceeded to give it a wide berth for most of the evening.

Later on, I see Gideon, who has been walking around with the balloon, run into the bathroom because the door is open (we usually leave it closed). Suddenly, I hear my friend yelling for me and squealing and then she shoots out of the bathroom with Gideon chasing her and giggling.

Gideon had cornered my balloon fearing friend in the small guest bathroom between the tub and the blue balloon. She had no escape.

The Smith House, where all your fears materialize.

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Originally uploaded by Wandering Eyre
Spaten now bottles Oktoberfest in these cute baby shaped bottles. Delicious.

Also, p.s. Look how big and skinny he looks! Like a real toddler.

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Home Alone


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Originally uploaded by Wandering Eyre

I told those idiots if they left me home while they were in Chicago I would find a way out.

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